Singleness, the unbearable sin.

I have been lucky enough to experience 37 years on this earth. Most of that life has been single. When I was 19, I fully committed my life to Jesus and decided that I wasn’t going to waste my time pouring into something that was only going to gratify my sexual desires. I wanted something that was going to last a lifetime, so I decided to be single until that right person from God would come into my life. Then I would continue to seek the Lord on which direction to go when I found her.

Over the years I have gone through different sets of friends who eventually got married and transitioned out of my life while trying to put their family first. Year after year I saw this happening and never was I the one saying I do. But I did get to see a lot and learn from other ‘s blessings and mistakes. Each year I was single God revealed to me more and more about the reality of marriage and how much work it really is. I learned also how much the enemy attacks the family and if you don’t protect it, he can come in and destroy the blessings from the Lord.

There have been people in my life who I thought could be “the one”, but out of God’s protection, He has stepped in and prevented anything from moving forward. Red flags came to the surface and decisions to turn away and turn to God were made. Not that it was easy walking away because the desire of my heart has always been to have somebody in my life that I can pour out all this love that God has given. Somebody to work together with and live life and do ministry with. A woman to raise beautiful little kids with. And a best friend to be an example of what a godly marriage should look like.

It isn’t easy being single in this world today, especially in the church where they are constantly asking you if you are married yet? Sometimes it makes you feel like you have a disease or not good enough to have that special person in your life. Try traveling to a remote destination where there are couples in love all over the place. Most of the time your heart sinks because that very desire of being in a tropical place spending time with the love of your life is nothing but a fantasy that causes bitterness towards that very thing you want most. That longing of holding hands while walking down the beach during sunset, gazing into her eyes with butterflies flapping around in your chest, never wanting that moment to end. But all a dream when you are single.

As a single person, we all desire that, but the reality is a relationship is so much more than just a fairy tale. For me, it took a long time to figure out that marriage isn’t just about holding your love tightly and experiencing a shock of awe because you never thought it could happen to you. It is also about laying down your life and walking with them through the hardest times bearing each other’s burdens till death do you part. That person will not only make you happy, but they will also be used to refine you and make you better when they are covered by the blood of Jesus. Like two rough stones rubbing together to eventually fit perfectly over time.

If you are single, remember this; find contentment in Christ first. Don’t seek out satisfying your fleshly desires because that will only bring heartache. Not only to you but to those who you seek to find love in. For me, I only want God’s very best, and the only place that I can find her is through Jesus Christ. Yeah, I am still waiting, but to me, marriage is for life and I am not willing to compromise the second biggest decision in my life. Marry God’s Best!