I was having a conversation the other day, and as I was telling this guy about my life, he said something that hit me hard. He said, “Trav, you’re 33 years old. Look at your life! You don’t have anything to show for it. Most people your age are married and have kids. They are working nice jobs, have money to spend, cars, a house and their lives are good. You on the other hand, are single with no kids, no job, the car you are driving isn’t even yours and you don’t have anything to show for the life that you have lived.”
I thought, wow, he is so right! My life looks like it is a total failure. When I moved to New Zealand, I was put in a place where everything I had ever worked for was taken away. How could this guy be so right? Was I an idiot for giving up all that to come live in a place with nothing? My comfortable life… gone!
He said, “Travis doing that was extremely stupid. You are already behind in living life, and because you moved to New Zealand, you will have to start over, giving up your dreams of having a wife and kids. You are going to be too old and will have missed your opportunity for it all. This life will be a waste and you will not be able to pass on the Silva heritage. Good thing your brothers and sister had lots of children to help in that because you are a failure.”
When he said this, I started to look at my friends and family. I noticed they were all married with children and enjoying the blessing of each other and being able to raise their little munchkins. They were in amazing place of being able to pour out their love to the family and live that life I have always wanted. He was right, I was a failure. I started to question my decision on becoming a missionary and negative thoughts filled my mind with how the desires of my heart would be a non-existent dream. Even the thought of marriage left a bitter taste in my mouth because of where I was in life. No matter what I did, marriage and having a family no longer was an option. I was hopeless, and the only thing I could hear was this man’s voice saying you will never amount to anything.
But… then I heard another voice. He said, “don’t listen to that voice, the Devil is just a deceiver and is telling you lies. Those whispers are not who you are. What you are doing for Me in New Zealand is far greater than you know. I know your hearts desire because I put it there and when the time is right I will bless you with a marriage far greater than any other marriage you know! Don’t look to your friends and family for comparison because that is their life. I have different plans for you, and those plans are to change lives for Christ. Keep your eyes fixed on me because I am sovereign and in control. I know the bigger picture, but you have to trust me and believe that in My timing I will turn your dream into a reality. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and I love you with all my heart.”
Wow, He was right! God was right! I was listening to lies of the Devil, and that was causing me to feel sorry for myself. I realized that when we compare our lives to others we are telling God, He isn’t doing a good enough job in our life. We begin to covet what others have and forget about what God has already provided. Our lives begin to take the shape of selfishness, and we throw thankfulness out the window.
I am far from perfect and human just like you and can listen to the lies. We can all fall into the Devils trap of looking to what we don’t have. However, that is dangerous because we stop seeing what God is doing in our lives, and we try to be someone that we are not. We are all created differently, and in different places of life, so be thankful for where God has you now. Don’t get caught up in trying to live another persons life. There is no comparison when it comes to God but you have to hear His voice and not the deceitful voice of the Devil. You too are loved by God, don’t let anybody else tell you differently. God bless you!
