I look back at my life and I see how much my perspective on what to look for in a wife has changed.  Before it seemed like I was looking for that trophy wife that I could go home to and have eye candy to look at.  A girl that when she would smile the room would light up because she was so beautiful.  Everything that I seemed to be looking for was just something that was on the surface because my selfish desires wanted to be looked at as if I was the luckiest man in the world because of the beauty of my wife.

Wow, that has changed and even how I look at marriage is totally different then it was 12 years ago.  There are qualities that I see in a woman now that I never thought about before, that can take a woman’s beauty and make her extremely attractive in a way that gets better over time.

Guys, I hope you read this and see a different perspective on what to look for in a wife.  Be careful that it’s not just about what she looks like on the outside, because that will fade and she will become old and lose her youthly beauty.  If that is all you are looking for then you are going to be extremely disappointed when those wrinkles start to come out and she begins to lose her physical look.   There is a way to see your wife become more and more beautiful with age, and that is through seeing beauty in the qualities of her character and friendship.  Attraction is still important but a woman with amazing character makes her beauty extremely attractive.

So what are some of those qualities that we should look for?  The number one thing is to watch and see if she has a solid relationship with God.  If she does, then you will see that the Holy Spirit working in her to magnify the character of Christ, making it hard to see anything other than the true beauty of God Creation.  Wow, a woman that really loves the Lord, that has a servants heart, that loves people, willing to sacrifice and lay down her life,  while fully trusting in God through all things,  that is attractive!!!  And over time it only get’s better watching her develop into a woman that is filled with the fruits of the spirit.

Marriage is about glorifying God through living life together and when two people come together to do that it truly is a beautiful thing.  Think of it… when time gets hard, and it will, can you come together and fully trust God?  When you have kids, will you be able to turn to God and have the patience to raise them up the right way?  There are thousands of scenarios that we never think of because sometimes it hard to see past the butterflies, instead of preparing for real life.

When you look at the surface it is really easy to fall in lust with somebody, but when you really get to know them on a deeper level seeing qualities of Christ, it’s hard not to fall in love.

So how do we get past all the butterflies and see if somebody is really the right one for us?  I would start with understanding who YOU are in Christ.  Then really began to think of qualities that you would want to find in your mate, which could change but at least you are thinking about what you like and qualities you could live without.  Then from there, pray and don’t compromise what matters most to you.

Marriage isn’t going to be easy, but why complicate it even more with marrying somebody that isn’t a good godly fit for you.   We should really think these things through and if that person isn’t a good fit then we need to protect our hearts and those hearts around us.

It is more than butterflies, its the second biggest decision you will make in life behind giving your life to Christ.