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When I was a child I constantly tried to be accepted by being flawless and perfect because I didn’t ever feel like I was good enough.  Anytime I would do something embarrassing I would just play it off like nothing ever happen.  I never wanted people to see me as somebody who made mistakes because I felt like if I wasn’t perfect, than people would look down on me.  So this led me to strive for that perfection in everything that I would do so that nobody could point a finger at me.  If I ever felt that somebody would look down on me, I would give an outward appearance of everything being okay.  For the longest time I would NEVER tell anybody the things that I was really experiencing because of fear that they would know the real me.  The imperfect Me and I didn’t want them to see my secret life.  I wasn’t willing to put myself out there because of the judgement that I would face through telling people the truth.

This fear even began to show in my relationship with Christ, as if He didn’t know what I was going through.  I didn’t even want to talk to Him about what I was experiencing because I didn’t want Him to think of me as a failure.  This was tough and because of how I was raised without being comfortable opening up with my feelings, God had a lot of work to do in me to show me this struggle.

Over the years God started to put people in my life that showed me that it was okay to open up about things to the people that I fully trusted.  He started to show me that I am not perfect nor will I ever be.  Realizing that being a sinner and imperfect is the reason that Jesus came and died for my sins.  This concept began to really make sense allowing me to be okay with not having to impress man by being perfect, but knowing that through my imperfections I can live life to the fullest in Christ.  I could now let go and let God work in me.

Now I have been blessed with a mentor that shines with Grace and really cares about my walk with Christ.  Anytime I am going through something he does something really amazing!!!  HE LISTENS… It sounds so simple, but he does it in a way with no condemnation that allows me to know that he cares.  He doesn’t always say much, but for the most part when I talk,  things start to become clear.  Not many of us have this person in their life, but it’s because we aren’t that person ourselves.  When we talk to people we try to fix things immediately instead of letting God work in people.  We throw our opinions out quickly without hearing the full story and ends up causing more harm than good.

Listening is extremely powerful and when we do it, engage in what that person is saying because that is what shows them we care.  If we truly care for somebodies well being then listen to what they have to say and don’t condemn them according to what they are going through because God isn’t done yet.  We are all on the same page, on the same team and in this walk together.

I open up my heart to you guys because I hope through my transparency and openness the Lord will be glorified.  Through God’s grace and an amazing mentor I have been able to share my struggles, getting them out in the open so that the devil can’t have a foothold in my life.  He can not hold anything over our heads because there is no condemnation when we follow Christ.  He has already died for our sins so that we can live a free life.   Be that person who listens, it could change their lives like it did mine.